As I sat at Wendy’s today and was finishing my snack, I looked out the window and saw an ABX plane flying by. It was a yellow one that had been specially painted by DHL back when they were based in Wilmington. It had been awhile since I have seen one flying overhead and a feeling of sadness passed over me as I realized that an era had passed. That was a time when Mike and I had moved to Wilmington from our home state of Oregon full of excitement and hope. DHL had just become a major part of ABX and Mike had a great schedule and salary, and things seemed to be secure. However, a few years after we moved here things started to change. The shift began to happen just as we were beginning to take the steps to make Stillwater Stables a nonprofit. DHL announced that they had decided that multiple layoffs were coming and they would be moving out of Wilmington. This was in 2008.
Fast tract to now and Mike is currently working out of Japan and is gone 2 to 3 weeks at a time with a much lower salary then we used to have through ABX. Things do not feel secure and have been less than optimal. It is a miracle though that we are still here in Wilmington and that Stillwater stables is still thriving.
As I reflect on all that has changed a verse comes to mind, “not by your strength but by my spirit says the Lord.”
This past year I have come to the end of my strength. I have been exhausted as I have been striving to adjust to the fact that Mike works overseas and that a job back at ABX has become a faded memory, and I have felt like it’s all up to me to make everything work. In the midst of this, I realize we are still here. The job in Japan is the only job he applied to that allowed us to stay here. It’s also the only job that I can’t move to where it is based out of so he could be home more.
Without Mike here as much, I have gone through a lot of emotions and have felt like I cannot oversee 18 acres or run Stillwater Stables without him here as much. But today I realized that it’s not about my strength but by His spirit. Through Him the impossible is possible once we run out of our strength and have no choice but to say, “Ok God, it’s up to you.”
By His spirit lives are changed. By His might hope is given. By His grace we are still here able to share His love and His greatness.
By stepping aside to rest and reset and offering what little I have left to God, I see that He is free to open doors and change lives. He is free to show me direction that I would never have otherwise seen. He is free to make Stillwater Stables be all He would like it to be.
That’s how we are still here. Others have stepped forward and helped in areas that we have had need. By stepping aside it has become about we and not I. It has become about Him not me. I’m finding it’s not trying harder but letting go and challenging God to meet the needs through others.
If you’re feeling weary and at the end of your rope try stepping aside, rest, reset and let God take it. And be prepared for things to happen you never thought possible.